Funny story · Living Life

Quotes from my five year old

I am going to declare my 5-year old as the funniest 5-year old in the world!! Remember my post, Kids Say the Darndest Things? I do realize that every parent probably believes their own child is the funniest kid in the world. But, I swear, if I could capture some of the things that Colin says or does on video, I just might win the big bucks on AFV (America’s Funniest Videos)!!

I am going to try to tell you about a few of his antics and do them justice. However, I think the cliché, “You had to be there,” might apply here.

Over the Christmas holidays, my kids fell in love with the movie, “ELF” starring Will Farrell. Colin is the master at detecting and pocketing humour from movies. What amazes me is the wisdom he shows when he pulls out this collection of movie lines, the moment he detects a matching context in his own life. So, here are some holiday favourites.

First off…
As some of you know from my previous post, we did a lot of sledding over our vacation. There was one day when we went out much too late. It was 4:30 p.m. and the sun went down in our first half-hour out. Well, as the temperature plummeted Colin began to freeze. He marched up the hill and announced to the world…“I’m freezing my Jingle Bells out here!!” When I heard this the first time, I was in shock and took a moment to rehearse it in my head. Then I burst-out in laughter, and Allie (my 9-year old) began to laugh hysterically. Well, that was not the last of that one-liner. He used it at least a dozen times in perfect context over the week. I found it equally funny every time. At last, I asked Colin, “So, what does – freezing my jingle bells mean?”
Colin replied, “Freezing my buns off!” Well, I found his explanation more funny than the one-liner itself. You and I both know Jingle Bells are not buns ;).

Next up, another ELF inspired movie line…
When Colin and I were building his Lego space shuttle, he was getting pumped. Once it was completed, he took it in hand, ready to fly it, and bellowed, “Holy nutcrackers!!” I just about fell over, but decided to laugh my head off. I slipped away to tell daddy, yet another, “Guess what Colin just said…” story. Colin went on to use this one-liner ever time he got excited about something.

What else did Colin do?

Colin and I were suiting-up to go outside. Allie had already beat us to it. He walked over to me with his mitts dangling from his hands. He politely asked, “Can you tuck these under my sleeves, mom? I don’t wanna look like a dork!!” I managed to squeak out an inquisitive, curious look and asked, “A dork?”
Colin piped back very casually and confidently, “Yah, a dork. You know, an old man.” Once again, floored by Colin’s hilarious intuitions, which pop out with such confidence…I replied, “Is that what a dork is?”
“I think so. Isn’t it?”
“Well not exactly, Colin. A dork is like a name calling name. It’s given to someone who’s acting kinda silly and stupid at the same time. It’s not a nice word, so try not to use it, okay?”
“Okay, mummy. I shouldn’t say that at school and I don’t wanna go to jail.”
We both laughed for a bit. Colin is at that stage where he thinks all bad choices will end-up putting a person in jail. Funny stuff!

There is more…
Like many of you, we went to a few parties or house visits over the holidays. So, there was that repeated cycle of showering, shaving, make-up, and cologne/perfume. As Colin observed this repeated ritual, he eventually decided to start his own getting ready ritual. During the second week of the holidays, every time we were getting ready to leave the

Shaving with the back-end of a toothbrush works...right?

house, Colin went through his ritual. He brushed his teeth, slopped gel or mousse into his hair (in a very lopsided way), and then prepped himself to shave. Yup, I did say shave. He took out his Spiderman shaving kit with his plastic, bladeless razor. PSHHH! He pressed the shaving cream into one hand, then lathered it, and tapped the cream onto his cheeks and chin. Now for the fun! With great confidence and masculinity, he slid the razor across his baby face. To top off his ritual, Colin grabbed a can of Axe , then sprayed it out in front of him and walked through the magic scent. Every time he finished his ritual, he would walk around the house with his chest puffed out, proud as a peacock! Time after time, I found myself filling up with joy and pride over how fun this little guy’s personality was turning out
to be.

Well, you can only imagine what happened when Colin discovered that his razor had broken (I think it got stepped on). He was very disappointed, but determined to solve this dilemma. I offered some replacement ideas, most of which he rejected. He did like the idea of using a toothbrush. But he decided to use the one that had a suction cup on the back-end. His thinking was that the suction cup end would be the perfect replacement for his razor. Can you picture this lil’ five year old perched-up on a foot stool, shaving his face with the back-end of a suction cup toothbrush? Colin announced, as though he had hit puberty, “I need to shave every day now!” hilarious. I just had to take a picture of this. He might like to look back at it on his wedding day.

As a parent, I could see these moments were a little window into Colin’s world, even a window into his future. This is one reason I decided to immortalize the moments into my blog :). As parents we are busy, busy people. We sometimes forget that the things we see and hear our kids do, may not be remembered in the years that follow just because they are moments in time that are taken for granted. Well, I will look back at this blog post and remember these moments as though it was yesterday.


2 thoughts on “Quotes from my five year old

  1. Love this! I recently went back on my FB profile and gathered all my “my 6 yr old said…” posts. I have been collecting these one-liners since my daughter was 2 (she’s now 13) and I have about 5 pages full. I have to admit out of my 4 kids… my youngest has the best ones yet! My friends think I should put them into a book…maybe one day I will – when my source runs dry (or grow up to be a sulky teenager). For now – I’ll keep gathering these precious and humorous memories! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for sharing. I wished I had done this with my 9 year old. She used to call hamburgers…hanger-burgers. I’m stealing your idea, and I will document these wonderful moments. Thanks for commenting.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s