Reflecting ~ Looking Back

What a relief!

As humans, this is a line we all get to release out of our mouths after a Herculean effort over something. I just finished writing report cards. Not only that, I finished and submitted them on time (yeah Heidi). It was a close one, that’s for sure. I did in fact, pull an all-nighter, which is kinda cool because I didn’t think my body could do that anymore.

Actually, this time around was one of the few times that I did NOT procrastinate over starting my report cards. Let me be honest here, if there is one thing I do really well, it most certainly is procrastinating. You know what though? Procrastinating is hard on the body, and even harder on the mind. Each time I have procrastinated over doing something, I come out wishing I had just started the task when I should have, or when I could have. All of the mental gymnastics and the physical stress, never feels worth it in the end.

Well wait a minute Heidi, tell THEM the truth! Okay, okay. There is an adrenaline rush that gets me pretty revved up, I must admit. The ability to rise to the occasion, and meet the demand at the last possible moment, is pretty spectacular. Shhhh! Don’t tell my boss.

I think this is one of the strangest things about myself and one thing I don’t understand completely. I have had this bizarre desire to push my own limits, particularly my mental limits for as long as I can remember. I’m not convinced that I procrastinate in an effort to put things off, or avoid demands.There is something about seeing what can be pulled off, in less time than reasonably expected. I see now that this is an unhealthy “sport” to be playing, so I’m trying to get out of this game.

When I decided to start this blog I wanted to start doing things for me. I felt a burning desire to make healthier choices, plus better use of my time, energy and karma. So, with that, treating myself better means not doing the things that lead me to self destruct.

So, my sport of procrastinating is moving down a peg. It’s not off the list. That would be like asking a smoker of 40 years to just throw all their smokes down the toilet and never look back. No, no, there is still a place for procrastinating. After all, I will need the big P, for the times when I have to do something new or unfamiliar. The big P is critical for those times when you’re not sure what you’re doing, or how to get started. Few!! That’s a good reason to keep it around.

Ahhhh! Report cards are done, and procrastination has a new role in my life. What a relief! I think I’m ready to just wake up and write a novel tomorrow. Ahh, too bad though…I have to go to volleyball practice. Maybe I’ll write next Sunday.

I bet you’re procrastinating over something. So what is it?


2 thoughts on “What a relief!

  1. Love it! I am the same way with procrastination. I hate it, but I love it. Yet, in the end, I just wind up wasting hours and hours not doing anything of value and wondering where the day has gone. Perhaps this is just the motivation I need to get back to working on my book….on the other hand, my laptop battery is about to die…

    1. Procrastination certainly has played a “neat” roll in my life. But, I think I’m ready to say good-bye to it. I can almost feel the heart disease creep through it. I’m probably a writer-wannabe…procrastination enables me to never face the possibility of truly becoming a writer (for the purpose of an audience/publisher). Even my blogs feel like I’m writing to myself. Safer that way. Thanks for visiting, Kat!

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