Kids say the darnedest things

Siblings bickering all of the time is one of life's greatest stressors, until one of them says the darnedest things.

I really wanted to capture this moment that I had in the car a week ago. It was a hectic, sweltering, hot and humid, Ontario afternoon. I had spent a big chunk of time at home with Allie and Colin (ages 9 and 4 respectively), I decided to take them to a splash pad park for the afternoon. Well, all of this family time was beginning to wane. Tempers were thinning like a premature balding 20 year old. The humidity was so thick, you could chew on the clouds that were descending with each passing hour.

Now, I’m not a “natural” stay at home mom. Some of you read about how I have recently tried to stop and smell the roses – to get away from my more natural workaholic teacher-mode. Ten months of the year I work, work, work – so switching gears to 100% mothering is like trying to turn a giant cargo ship that’s coming into port – it’s a very slow and dangerous maneuver!

Understanding that, it is easy to see how my patience for bickering children peaks a bit sooner than a seasoned stay at home mom. I belted out a predictable line, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all!” (I think mothers have tried that line for the past 9 or 10 decades). So we continued on our journey to the dreaded supermarket. It was so quiet, I could hear the dimes and pennies chatter in my A/C vents that Colin had shoved in there the last time we cleaned the interior of the car. All of sudden, this serious and confident voice came from the backseat.

My sweet, four year old Colin let out in distress, “I really don’t know who I’m going to marry. I just wish I knew who I’m going to marry.”

“Oh Colin (as my heart warmed and beamed with pride), you have a lot of time to find a very special person to marry,” I reassured him.

“You need to be at least a teenager, Colin. You don’t need to think about that now,” his sister confirmed.

“No, I want to know now (and a few other things that I don’t remember now),” Colin continued.

WOW! That day was going south in a hurry. I was pretty zapped at that point, and certainly dreading going into the supermarket with these enemy soldiers. But, Colin made all three of us laugh — not just giggle. It was the deep belly laugh that makes your entire body vibrate. My ears were hot, my eyes were watering, and my cheeks went numb with all of the laughing.

…..Kids say the darnedest things. I ALWAYS wish I was the type to write things down when something funny like this happens. As a teacher, you hear it all – as a parent you live through it all. From this point on, I’ll try to get these musings down.

I bet you’ve heard some pretty funny things! Whether it was a child, a parent, a friend, or a stranger. Come on now, make all of us laugh…what’s one of the funniest things that you can ever remember hearing?