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Life with hiccups

Everyone breathes in air to sustain life. Sometimes you breathe easy, other times you've got the hiccups.

GOOD GRIEF, What am I writing?

What a warm pleasure it is to be ‘home’ on my #WordPress blog, again straining to ignite my passion for writing. I do realize it has been the topic of the past couple of feeble attempts to write. Whatever it is I’ve been battling, I think I’m finally beginning to peel back some of the layers. 

As a #teacher, I also maintain a teacher blog. It just so happens, that the blog I wrote and posted today blends nicely with some of the blunderings of every day life. In the post, you will see how I argue with myself as to whether or not the post is an #education post, or #life post. 

At the end of it all, I recognize that life is all about wrestling with our hopes, dreams, goals, resolutions, etcetera, etcetera. I’m the kind of person that loves to envision things, but occasionally struggle to declare if that is officially a goal or not. When I name it a goal…that sets the ball rolling for plans and actions. I’m not afraid of that. Trust me. I just try not to commit to more than I can handle. It’s a hiccup of mine. Well fancy that, the name of my blog has seeped through the cracks here. 

I thought about pasting the post from my teacher site…but perhaps I’ll link it instead. Come on over to visit. If you wanna see some incredibly perfect disastrous writing, you’ll wanna see this post

What does writing have to offer?

Blogging used to be ‘easy’ for me. I selected topics-with ease.

I gathered ideas – with ease. 

I found words – with ease. 

I drafted posts – with ease. 

I uploaded final products – with ease. 

No fear. 

No contemplation. 

No reservation. 

Somewhere it stopped. 

Likely for many different reasons. And even when I wanted to try again, I “couldn’t”. 

Until now. Now, I want the void to fill. 

With thoughts, ideas, feelings, and daily musings. 

Wish me luck. 

Oh yah…my passion for writing started with journaling. And so, this is how I’d like my return to writing, to resume. 

Here it goes!

I need to write

mac-keyboard-handsTwo years. It has been two years since I have written and posted a blog.  There are so many things I could say to address this void.  I could write about all the things I have done with my time. I could rationalize my reason for NOT writing. I could tell you how busy I’ve been as a mom, a teacher, a coach…I could tell you that I have a new 4-month old baby boy; so naturally, life has been a whirlwind.  BUT…I won’t.  Instead, I just need to write.

I have come to understand the role writing has in my life.  I have stopped insisting there needs to be an adequate purpose or topic to write about.  I have arrived at a more peaceful place, where I realize that I write because it’s a passion of mine. It is not an obligation I have, to those who might read my writing.  But most importantly, I have found my writing freedom.  Writing for me is a release, and my preferred method of expression.

Somewhere along the way, when this blog really started to pick up some traffic, and I had friends and colleagues telling me I should really give writing a go…I lost my voice.  I thought my writing needed to be perfect.  I thought I needed a perfect topic, one that would resonate with my audience.  I thought I needed a perfect title, one that would catch an audience.  I thought I needed the perfect lead, one that would hook my audience.  With these “needs”, writing became a chore, a stress, and an anxiety for me.  All of a sudden, I felt like my writing had to be something an aspiring published writer would produce in their novice years.  I have known for some time that I really just need to write.  It was high-time I get back in the saddle, but I just couldn’t get my leg up in the stirrup.

Writing is cathartic.  When I’m not so busy analyzing what I should write, could write, or ought to write…it’s liberating.  When I’m not generating a dozen questions about what will go into my writing, and what will not… it’s liberating.  When I’m not wondering what my readers will think, how they might comment, or if my post will reach new heights…it’s liberating.

So today, I finally took the leap.  I just need to write.  It’s that simple.  I love the feeling of my fingers hammering away at the keys.  I love how my brain is always ahead of my fingers, and I need to go back to add in the letters and words I omit.  I love the rush and excitement I feel, just knowing that I’m writing and getting my thoughts out in front of my eyes.  The exhilaration that comes over me, as I see the letters race out from behind the cursor.  I’m writing. And it feels good.  I write, because I need to write.

As I look back at a few of my blog posts, even those that are my favourites (Heart and SoulToday marks my fork in the…”Road Not Taken”, and What will I write about today?); I see ways they could have been better.  Better ways to express those thoughts come to mind now, and I smile.  Growth.  I’m okay with these changes I see.  I see the growth in my thinking, and I’m inspired and motivated to write again.  I’m excited. The relief comes over me, as the words leave my head, freeing up the space for new ideas. New writing.

There. I’ve done it. My foot hooked into the stirrup, and I’ve pulled myself up into the saddle. Now it’s time to ride.

I’m a writer again…and I don’t really care if you like it or not…because I’m writing for me.  I need to write.

#ilovetowrite  #writerwannabe  #blogger

Another good read:  The Differences Between Hobby & Professional Writers – See more at: http://jodyhedlund.blogspot.ca/2010/09/differences-between-hobby-professional.html#sthash.RD9wNcZb.dpuf

JOY…is like getting a new puppy!

Aren’t we all drawn in and easily enamoured by all things…cute and adorable? Whenever I look into the eyes of a wee baby I can’t help but smile. But, it’s no ordinary smile. It’s that kind of smile that spontaneously explodes onto my face and cements there. Then there’s the emotion. I leap into joy; heart racing, blood pumping, “lost” in this world where my number one goal is to make the baby smile, or just respond to my crazy efforts. I think we can all connect to this experience, and this is what I call sheer JOY!

“Rocky” is our new 11-week old puppy. He’s a Schmorkie!

Then, there is that joy that comes when you bring home a new puppy!  In their first days, so cute, warm, sleepy, and loveable. Bringing me to the true inspiration for this post. Last week, we brought home a new puppy.  “Rocky” is our 11-week old Schmorkie.  You heard it right…a Schmorkie.  A Schmorkie is a hybrid breed crossing a Miniature Schnauzer, Yorkshire Terrier and Maltese.  As you can see, he is truly adorable.  My nine-year old daughter has been begging us to have a dog for 7 years (she reports).  She has gripped on to the hope and dream of having a dog, much like a talented young Canadian boy hopes and dreams to make it to the National Hockey League.  Dogs bring joy into peoples lives.  Any dog-lover would confirm this.  Dogs are loyal and evolve into these companions that we, the dog lover get swooned and drawn into.  Dogs become your companion, playmate, friend, and part of your support network.  I can see that Rocky is well on his way to doing all these things for us.  He brings joy and excitement into our home everyday.  We are all thrilled to have him…and once trained…we will love him unconditionally (lol).

Joy is by far my favourite human emotion. Joy gives me such a positive,overwhelming feeling.  Not the kind of overwhelming feeling that come with stress. Joy takes over my body, mind and spirit leaving everything else on the OUTSIDE, where I can’t see it all for a while. Perhaps Joy can be better explained through an example. Family time at the beach is truly my  favourite thing to do…experience…I can’t find the words to say how wonderful it is. I don’t love the beach because I love to sunbathe, or swim in one of our splendid Great Lakes. It’s because, being at the beach with my hubby and our kids feels like a romantic and exhilarating retreat all-in-one!

We love to visit Port Stanley, Ontario once a week throughout the summer. Lake Erie is one of three Great Lakes Ontarians love to visit when hitting the beach.

The moment we arrive at the beach my body begins to change. As the kids burst with excitement, I can’t help but smile and join-in showing the same childlike thrill. We run along the shore, have races on the sandbar, and tow the kids through the deeper filling their gullies with water. Getting started it perhaps the best part. I race to the trunk of the car, frantically rummaging through all of our gear trying to find a way to take it all in one trip. All four of us load-up and we scurry down to the sand and water. Everyone is talking, giggling and planning what we’re going to build, dig-up, swim out to, and play. Everyone is a kid again.
This sensation is called…living in the moment. Another on of my favourite states to be in. Within five minutes of being at the beach, my mind and body surrender to these future moments right here…in the moment…at the beach. Gone, are all thoughts about work, house renovations, errands to be done, registrations to complete, bills to pay, things that just aren’t right, people I’m upset with and what to do about it, or all the things the kids need for this and that. All those thoughts rinse away with the waves that roll-up on the Great Lakes shore, and then pulled back out into the open water. Now, I’m actually living in the moment. When the kids begin digging to start their sandcastle I can really see them, when they laugh I can really hear them, when I jump in to pack the sand down I’m really there…playing with them. I become overwhelmed with a feeling of joy. I can’t stop smiling, and everything just feels…right.
Summer fun is wonderful! I used to get irritated by fellow teachers who seemed to clearly be in the profession because of the summers off. But as a mom and hard working teacher, I too have come to love my summers off. This is when I come alive and live in the moment. We don’t have to wait for moments of joy. The beach doesn’t come to us. We should all go out to find the joy we want.  We prepare what we need, pack-up, and drive to the beach. We’re creating these moments of joy.

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